{"id":1394,"date":"2014-04-09T01:09:08","date_gmt":"2014-04-09T01:09:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.darkon.org\/?p=1394"},"modified":"2014-04-09T01:09:08","modified_gmt":"2014-04-09T01:09:08","slug":"smasha-the-ork-adapted-from-too-much-of-a-good-thing-by-gimzod","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/2014\/04\/09\/smasha-the-ork-adapted-from-too-much-of-a-good-thing-by-gimzod\/","title":{"rendered":"“Smasha the Ork” adapted from “Too Much of a Good Thing” by Gimzod"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WAAAGH\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Smasha the Ork, he was so ‘ard
\nHe did some silly things
\nHe’d take his shield and bash himself
\nTo hear his own head go ding
\nIf asked for why he did this act
\nThere’s only one thing to say
\nHe’d never know how he smashed himself
\nif he kept himself at bay.<\/p>\n

Smasha the Ork, he was so tall
\nHe towered o’er the gitz
\nOf other countries big and small
\nAnd took them on in a blitz
\nHe saw them coming one by one
\nBut ne’er his stance did shift
\nHe took his shield and krumped them good
\n’til in the air they’d drift.<\/p>\n

Smasha the Ork, he’s swings so strong
\nNe’er a choppa could take
\nThe force of the swing upon their brows
\nThe choppas would surely break
\nHe broke his own and looted the corpse
\nOf the Rocka, name of Jax
\nAnd as he took his first big swing
\nSmashed the Rocka’s Axe.<\/p>\n

Smasha the Ork, he was so young
\nThe Doc had a brilliant plan
\nTo ‘bed some metal in his flesh
\nAnd dig it into his pan
\nBut as he killed, he got real big
\nAnd out of the plates he grew
\nAnd as his mass increased in. size
\nThe chain-mail embeds blew<\/p>\n

Smasha the Ork, the mega-armored
\nWould get an upgrade still
\nThe Doc would plant upon him plate
\nFor the fun and the thrill
\nBut Smasha size did thrice increase
\nAnd the plates pushed out
\nThe Doc had his experiments
\nnever held them in such doubt<\/p>\n

After the fights, our dear old Ork
\nSat with with angry Peasants
\nTo which our dear old boss has brought
\nDrink in the form of presents
\nWe left him there for nary a minute
\nUntil we came and found
\nSmasha had smashed all the drinks
\nAnd in his stupor drowned…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Smasha the Ork, he was so ‘ard He did some<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-minstrels-corner"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.darkon.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}