“Smasha the Ork” adapted from “Too Much of a Good Thing” by Gimzod


Smasha the Ork, he was so ‘ard
He did some silly things
He’d take his shield and bash himself
To hear his own head go ding
If asked for why he did this act
There’s only one thing to say
He’d never know how he smashed himself
if he kept himself at bay.

Smasha the Ork, he was so tall
He towered o’er the gitz
Of other countries big and small
And took them on in a blitz
He saw them coming one by one
But ne’er his stance did shift
He took his shield and krumped them good
’til in the air they’d drift.

Smasha the Ork, he’s swings so strong
Ne’er a choppa could take
The force of the swing upon their brows
The choppas would surely break
He broke his own and looted the corpse
Of the Rocka, name of Jax
And as he took his first big swing
Smashed the Rocka’s Axe.

Smasha the Ork, he was so young
The Doc had a brilliant plan
To ‘bed some metal in his flesh
And dig it into his pan
But as he killed, he got real big
And out of the plates he grew
And as his mass increased in. size
The chain-mail embeds blew

Smasha the Ork, the mega-armored
Would get an upgrade still
The Doc would plant upon him plate
For the fun and the thrill
But Smasha size did thrice increase
And the plates pushed out
The Doc had his experiments
never held them in such doubt

After the fights, our dear old Ork
Sat with with angry Peasants
To which our dear old boss has brought
Drink in the form of presents
We left him there for nary a minute
Until we came and found
Smasha had smashed all the drinks
And in his stupor drowned…