A Zoggin Rock – by John Harvey

Warboss Gutzmangul was inside his boss hut, impatiently waiting for this great weapon of Thrym that was supposed to help them stomp the runty sneaky Odin gitz. He looked over to his boyz, who were already getting a good game of Punch da Face going out of boredom.

“When we gettin’ dis big weapon? Dis Frym git bettah give sumfin’ good!”

Just as Gutzmangul finished his thought and Smasha knocked out Gimzod’s toof, there was a great squeal outside from the goblins outside followed by a tremendous crash and the sound of broken bones. The warboss stepped outside to see a tremendous boulder that had fallen in the midst of a mob of grots, crushing about a half-dozen of them. The thing was huge. Even for a warboss as mighty as Gutzmangul, a 20ft diameter rock weighing at least ten tons wasn’t going to budge.

“A ROCK! HE SENT US A ZOGGIN’ ROCK!?!? Dat Odin git bringz ‘iz boyz back ter life and WE. GET. A. ROCK!?!!!! AAAAAAAARRGH!!!”

Out of frustration, the warboss grabbed the edge of the boulder and to his complete surprise, he lifted the entire boulder as easy as lifting a squig. Dawning comprehension soon turned to expressions of manic glee.

“Dis… iz da best fing ever…”

Gutzmangul began running gleefully through the ork camp, his boyz following behind, yelling themselves hoarse with ‘Waaagh’. Somewhere the king of the giants was probably resting his head in his palm and shaking it.